Adventures of Jamie and Cooter Chafer

Friday night sure was fun. After dinner at the Monkey Wrench and spending a few hours doing accounting, nothing gets me ready to go like Main St Lounge on Friday nights. This Friday was no exception. I knew it was BDSM night. I just didn't know how great that would be. Not a single person that participated was attractive, but how could you not enjoy seeing someone getting spanked? We had to sign a waiver and give a thumb print to enter the "Dungeon." One guy had what appeared to be a shit stain in his boxers. The spanker took much notice of this. She turned his ass RED! I got a juiced up spur rubbed on my hand. By juiced up I mean with electricity. I better make that clear right now. I got tired of burning up in there. After a few more drinks I was ready to grab some Taco Bell and call it a night. Saturday night I go out with Jamie & Brad in search of the Jazz Factory. The whole way there Jamie has to piss. She's screaming, throwing a fit. I park my big body in a deserted parking garage. She hops out and pops a squat next to the car. "I need a napkin!" She shouted. I dug around and found some coarse napkins. I hand them to her and tell her, "I hope these don't chafe your cooter." Hence her new nickname, Cooter Chafer. Arriving at the Jazz Factory, I guzzled a few vodka drinks among the calm and collected crowd. I sit and laugh at the thoughts in my head. At one time I picture myself with a chainsaw, sawing through a large mirror from behind, screaming, "I'm the goddamn devil!" I start to wonder if Jamie Barnes' music is full of subliminal messages. The show ends. We have to go somewhere else now. We can't just go back home! We go to Main St Lounge. Last Saturday was a blast, surely this one would be no different. I think there was maybe 10 of us in there. We enjoyed the music and had a couple more drinks. We contemplated going somewhere else. Brad and I convinced Jamie we should just go back to my house, get a little more inebriated, and swim. I think this was around 3. We stopped at Thornton's and they got beer. I opted for some Mike-a-Ritas. I'm addicted to those. All I remember is having a good time in the pool and the iPod dishing out the never ending tunes. I don't recall falling asleep in the two chairs I had pulled together. I woke up and the sun was coming up. I went in and went to bed. I think Jamie woke me up at 11. Periodically I'd try to take a nap. She wasn't having none of that! A couple times I hid from her. I wedged myself on the side of the bed so she couldn't see me. I went downstairs and shut the door. It took her a while to find me. I took her home.