Margaret Plamp looks desperation in the eye.

Last night, Margaret went out to Coyotes with her snaggletooth friend, "V." Upon rolling into the parking lot, several people were shouting and waving at Margaret. She thought they were just being friendly. In reality, there was an inferno under the hood of her Diplomat! Once aware, Margaret grabbed her bottle of Old Forrester and high tailed it out of the blaze of glory. She took a big swig and played air guitar to ZZ Top's "Give me all your lovin'." "I'm going to have to buy a new son of a bitchin' car," Margaret boomed to V. V had just been in altercation with a woman on the dance floor who was reluctant to share "her space." "I think I broke my damn nose," said a smug V. Margaret gazed at her Diplomat in disbelief. She hung her head in shame and took a cab back to her dwelling. A week later, Margeret was ready to give her shot at a good time a second try. No longer amused by V's ghetto antics, Marge decided to join another group of friends in the enclave of Taylor Blvd. Upon arriving at C's house, Margaret was an outcast among outcasts. Nothing could have prepared her for what would happen. A drunken man got an attitude with another man and wanted to see who was tough enough to put him in a full nelson. Once the brawl was disrupted, the drunk man went upstairs, still rambling, much to the dismay of the other men. They had had enough. Margaret tried to distract them by imitating the strippers down the street who were freestyling in the front yard as they gyrated in their clear heels and neglected their babies. Her distractions didn't distract the men from waiting for the drunk to race down the stairs. They grabbed him and threw him through the front door! He landed in the yard with the door and a rocking chair. Suddenly it was like Ric Ocasek was right there. Margaret spewed out, "Let the good times roll." She wrapped her thigh highs around a man and told him to brush her "rock and roll hair." By now, C & E had no tolerance for Margaret's antics. She sensed that all wasn't right and decided to make an exit. Margaret began to walk home. Dressed in black, she decided it would be to her benefit to move off the street and onto the sidewalk. In the midst of the transition, Margaret succumbed to gravity and fell in the drainage ditch, knocking herself out and fracturing her left forearm! While giving herself time to heal, Margaret was getting cabin fever. She decided she'd boil some hot dogs and move her waterbed. The waterbed was too heavy for her to move alone, but Marge wasn't going to let this obstacle overcome her. As she gave it a big tug she heard something pop in her back. The pain was immeasurable! It was so bad that she forgot all about her hot dogs and laid on the couch, thus allowing time for one hell of a kitchen fire! Just as the flames were extinguished, the dreaded sound of the phone rang. Margaret's employer, Stooge's bar and grill, was on the other end. They had called to tell her she had been terminated. What would ever become of Margeret without a job, a charred kitchen, a fractured forearm, and failed back syndrome?